Once the Dr's had finished stitching me back up they rolled me onto a gurney and delivered me into the PACU. Once there I finally go to see my little one for the first time in all her birthday suit glory. She was covered in LOTS of white goop and they were working their hardest to get her clean.
They had to scrub and scrub to get her to be such a clean little pink squirmy thing. For the first ten minutes or so I just had to sit and watch as they made sure I was recovering okay from the surgery.
This was also when they began to pump me full of my first dose of narcotics. I can't for the life of me remember what the name was, but I can tell you that I felt veeeeeeery relaxed. I still wasn't quite ready for a cuddle so Grammy Nita got the first dibs.
Finally I was cleared to hold my little bundle. I was still in a bit of a daze and couldn't quite believe that this little baby had come from me. Plus, the drugs were kicking in which made the whole world seem a bit hazy.
I remember just constantly stroking her cheeks, they were undeniably the softest things I have ever felt in my life. Within just a few moments of taking her in my arms I was instructed to begin trying to breastfeed. We were very successful on the first go-round with the Little Miss latching right on and suckling away with contentment. Once she was fed it was time to pass her around.
Daddy tells her about the world
During this time we were trying to figure out just what her name would be. We said each of them while staring at her trying to determine which was the right fit. Pretty quickly we ruled out Nicola because it just wasn't her, but we couldn't make up our mind between Lily & Emily. The nurses, our Dr and my parents weighed in with a resounding votes towards Emily. It seemed the perfect name for her and so after 40 weeks of indecision she was named Emily Sue Harrison.
Finally our time in the PACU was completed. As they were about to move me to my room the nurse asked if I wanted the other half of my drugs. Why not? I thought - the first half was absolutely divine. She added the second half to my IV and away we went. Just as we reached the hallway the full force of the drugs hit me, I felt sweaty, nauseous and off, way off. I was incredibly dizzy and rubbery, which was strange because I was laying down and not moving. The next few hours are a bit of a haze. I remember everyone in my room drinking champagne, cooing over the baby and generally celebrating. We received phone calls from all the family that were not able to be there for her birth, Dad & Janelle, Great Gramma Jackie, Kim, Bev & Pete. I on the other hand, was laying immobile in bed feeling sick and out of it. The nurse would come in every hour or so and check my incision and make sure we were handling the baby all right. Not much handling to be had in all honesty as she just slept soundly in the bassinet next to me. She was exhausted from her big day! The worst part of the drugs wasn't how they made me feel physically but mentally and emotionally. They totally dulled my emotions so that I really don't feel like I could feel the excitement, fear, etc over having a new baby. I remember looking at her and thinking she was incredibly cute but not getting that "bonded" feel yet. Never fear, that was to come in spades, but the drugs just delayed it by a bit.
Finally as it neared 8pm visitors began to drift out and Jason and I were left alone in the room with the little Miss. The hard core drugs had worn off and were replaced by the lovely percocet pills, which just gave an ever so slight feeling of relaxation. We spent the rest of the evening staring at our new little daughter and realizing that we had no idea what we were in for but loving every second.
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