Okay, so I decided to stop blogging a few months ago. It seemed to daunting with work, baby, etc. However, today as she was napping I decided to take a quick look back and realized - I loved my blog! It was great to capture some of these memories as they happened.
By no means is this a commitment to keep this up, I could very easily see myself slipping back into radio silence...but I'll try.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
My First Mother's Day
I never before fully comprehended the importance of mother's day. I suppose all new mom's say that. It's not until after you've given up 95% of your life to take 24-hour care of a squirming little infant that you realize how much your parents did for you.
For this mother's day I wanted nothing more than to sleep in. Ever since Emily was born I've not slept past 7:30 on any given morning, nor have I slept more than 6 hours in a stretch. Jason offered to get up with the baby and make breakfast but I knew that would result in loud pots & pans banging over my head (our bedroom is just below the kitchen), a squalling baby and dirty dishes. Instead I opted for him leaving the house with the baby to get a latte & scone.
I was woken up shortly after 8 am by an adorable baby girl, her smiling daddy and a bouquet of flowers. We had a quiet morning while I enjoyed my latte, scones and family. A few hours later we got our A's into G and headed down to a great local taqueria for a quick lunch and then took a drive to the Berkeley Rose garden. My gift was a mommy/baby photo shoot by my talented husband.
Afterward we visited our doppleganger couple friends Kiwi Deane & Sarah and met their new little one week old daughter, Ella. Ella is a gorgeous 6 lb 5 oz baby. Emily looked ENORMOUS next to Ella.
We ended the day with dinner at Mom & Bobs where we fed Emily heaps and heaps of homemade applesauce. Which of course ended up keeping the baby up half the night from the sugar & gas. Le sigh - live and learn.
All in all, an amazing mother's day.
For this mother's day I wanted nothing more than to sleep in. Ever since Emily was born I've not slept past 7:30 on any given morning, nor have I slept more than 6 hours in a stretch. Jason offered to get up with the baby and make breakfast but I knew that would result in loud pots & pans banging over my head (our bedroom is just below the kitchen), a squalling baby and dirty dishes. Instead I opted for him leaving the house with the baby to get a latte & scone.
I was woken up shortly after 8 am by an adorable baby girl, her smiling daddy and a bouquet of flowers. We had a quiet morning while I enjoyed my latte, scones and family. A few hours later we got our A's into G and headed down to a great local taqueria for a quick lunch and then took a drive to the Berkeley Rose garden. My gift was a mommy/baby photo shoot by my talented husband.
Afterward we visited our doppleganger couple friends Kiwi Deane & Sarah and met their new little one week old daughter, Ella. Ella is a gorgeous 6 lb 5 oz baby. Emily looked ENORMOUS next to Ella.
We ended the day with dinner at Mom & Bobs where we fed Emily heaps and heaps of homemade applesauce. Which of course ended up keeping the baby up half the night from the sugar & gas. Le sigh - live and learn.
All in all, an amazing mother's day.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Working? From Home
When I returned to work I was able to negotiate a pretty cherry schedule. I work from home on Mondays, in the office Tuesday - Thursday from 9:30 - 4:30 and off on Fridays. My intention had been to prove that I could work from home one day a week and then begin working from home on Fridays so I could go back to full time wages.
In the roll that I was in this would work fine. I do mainly projects, don't have any client contact and the job wasn't that difficult. Frankly I thought I would get all the work done on the 3 days I was in the office and just do a few small tasks on the days I was home. I pictured my days at home to be spent hanging with Emily, taking walks and catching up on house stuff.
Within 2 weeks of returning back to work they asked me to fill in on an interim basis for a more classic HR position. I was very hesitant at first because I knew how much work it would entail, however, they pretty much forced my hand on it. It's been crazy busy with tight deadlines and lots of client interaction. I'm learning a lot about the business and flexing my long forgotten HR muscle. Guess What? I like it! It's making me realize that I am actually really good at this kind of job and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go back to it. So I'm trying my hardest to do good work so that they will consider me for it permanently. It would have more long term security than my current role, more growth potential and it's so close to home. What it doesn't do is mesh well with my new schedule. I've decided to head back to work on Mondays and put Emily in her day care, but Fridays' they are closed so it's not an option. We'll have to approach that if they offer me the job.
I've found that in this new role I'm so busy that the 3 days in the office just aren't cutting it and I actually have to work (gasp!) at home. This has been interesting as I have a 5 month old that may or may not be teething.
Working at home is hard because:
In the roll that I was in this would work fine. I do mainly projects, don't have any client contact and the job wasn't that difficult. Frankly I thought I would get all the work done on the 3 days I was in the office and just do a few small tasks on the days I was home. I pictured my days at home to be spent hanging with Emily, taking walks and catching up on house stuff.
Within 2 weeks of returning back to work they asked me to fill in on an interim basis for a more classic HR position. I was very hesitant at first because I knew how much work it would entail, however, they pretty much forced my hand on it. It's been crazy busy with tight deadlines and lots of client interaction. I'm learning a lot about the business and flexing my long forgotten HR muscle. Guess What? I like it! It's making me realize that I am actually really good at this kind of job and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go back to it. So I'm trying my hardest to do good work so that they will consider me for it permanently. It would have more long term security than my current role, more growth potential and it's so close to home. What it doesn't do is mesh well with my new schedule. I've decided to head back to work on Mondays and put Emily in her day care, but Fridays' they are closed so it's not an option. We'll have to approach that if they offer me the job.
I've found that in this new role I'm so busy that the 3 days in the office just aren't cutting it and I actually have to work (gasp!) at home. This has been interesting as I have a 5 month old that may or may not be teething.
Working at home is hard because:
- You never know when your baby is going to squeal during a phone call
- You can't type with them sitting on your lap
- You can't focus because they are needing constant interaction
- Babies never seem to nap when you want them to, that free hour you were counting on when they slept in the afternoon ain't happening
- You can wear your baby in a carrier and kiss the top of their soft soft head while talking to your Compensation representative in Cambridge
- You get to take little mid-day breaks to give them a bottle and since your hands are too full to type you are forced to catch up on DVR'd Oprah
- Since the baby won't nap when you want her to you are forced to take a nice long walk in the afternoon so she will get some rest. God Bless Blackberry so no one knows you aren't at your desk
- You can do a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher and start dinner in the time you would normally be commuting
- You get to look up from your computer and see these two views:
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
No More Pumping :(
Effective last Monday I discontinued pumping at work. It was a difficult decision, but I've yet to feel guilty.
Upon originally returning to work I had high hopes to pump up until Emily was a year old. It should have worked too. I had a private office with a fridge, my work didn't involve lots of in-person meetings, I didn't have to bother with dressing up so it was easy to find "pumping friendly" outfits, and the staff in my team were all very supportive and understanding. All was well the first two weeks and I was happily dropping Em off each morning with a good supply of milk for her day.
Then at the beginning of my 3rd week back they asked if I could move into an interim HR role in another department. This position was much higher visibility, my office would be in the executive suite, I would need to be dressed up each day and I was constantly in meetings. I found that it was difficult to get a few moments free to run back to my old office and pump (it was easier than using the closest lactation room), my real "dress up" work clothes were difficult to move to pump, and I ended up missing pumping sessions continuously. When I would finally sit down and express milk I was getting less and less due to stress. Then I would stress about getting less milk and the cycle would go on and on. So I would lug the pump home each night (with my laptop, purse, Emily's day care bag & Em herself) to try to get another session in before I went to bed or early in the morning.
I finally realized that this just wasn't working. We were dipping way into our freezer stash of milk that I had so carefully built up in the weeks prior to returning to work. All of this was just too much work and making an already difficult time even harder. So I worked with day care and for the first week they did have breast milk and half formula. By the 2nd week she was on full formula with no ill affects. She seems to have not noticed any difference and is just as happy as she was before. I'm probably suffering the worst of it with those awful formula diapers...
The last two weeks of no pumping has felt so good. I can wear real bras again! I can take lunch without being hooked up to a pump! I have one less huge bag to carry home every night! And my girl is still being well fed.
Upon originally returning to work I had high hopes to pump up until Emily was a year old. It should have worked too. I had a private office with a fridge, my work didn't involve lots of in-person meetings, I didn't have to bother with dressing up so it was easy to find "pumping friendly" outfits, and the staff in my team were all very supportive and understanding. All was well the first two weeks and I was happily dropping Em off each morning with a good supply of milk for her day.
Then at the beginning of my 3rd week back they asked if I could move into an interim HR role in another department. This position was much higher visibility, my office would be in the executive suite, I would need to be dressed up each day and I was constantly in meetings. I found that it was difficult to get a few moments free to run back to my old office and pump (it was easier than using the closest lactation room), my real "dress up" work clothes were difficult to move to pump, and I ended up missing pumping sessions continuously. When I would finally sit down and express milk I was getting less and less due to stress. Then I would stress about getting less milk and the cycle would go on and on. So I would lug the pump home each night (with my laptop, purse, Emily's day care bag & Em herself) to try to get another session in before I went to bed or early in the morning.
I finally realized that this just wasn't working. We were dipping way into our freezer stash of milk that I had so carefully built up in the weeks prior to returning to work. All of this was just too much work and making an already difficult time even harder. So I worked with day care and for the first week they did have breast milk and half formula. By the 2nd week she was on full formula with no ill affects. She seems to have not noticed any difference and is just as happy as she was before. I'm probably suffering the worst of it with those awful formula diapers...
The last two weeks of no pumping has felt so good. I can wear real bras again! I can take lunch without being hooked up to a pump! I have one less huge bag to carry home every night! And my girl is still being well fed.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
5 Month Check-In
Nicknames: Emmy Boo Boo, Ems, Sweetie Muffin, Boopy, Stinky Poo Stink Pants
Temperament: Very happy in the morning with lots of playing, dissolving into frustration a bit as the day wears on depending on how well our nap cycle has gone
Things I Could Do Without: The high pitched squeal you are working on perfecting. You seem to love to do it in public or when your mouth is right by my ear
Item/Toy We Love The Most: The Bumbo! It's great to have you on the counter at my height when I'm making dinner or trying to feed you, but I know this will be short lived as soon as you get strong enough to topple it over (safety will require it being relegated to the floor)
Item/Toy You Love The Most: Your burp rags. You love to grab them and chew on them.
Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: Hearing you gurgling and talking to yourself when you wake up in the morning. You patiently examine the world around you while I get ready. When I finally peek my head over the edge of your crib and you spy me you give me the biggest most amazing smile I've ever seen in my life. It is by far the best way to start a day ever.
Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: Mom & Baby Yoga! You love watching me do all the yoga poses and are such an angel for the entire 90 minute class. Your favorite part is when we do baby yoga and you get to do different little baby stretches and we sing to you.
Sounds/Words: Lots of "ahhhhhhhhhs!" Sometimes there will be a ba or da thrown in, but no real consistency at this point.
Foods you like: Up until this point it's been the same old thing every day - breast milk! About two weeks ago I weaned you onto formula during the day times because it was getting to hard to pump at work. The transition was fairly easy because Junia is a master baby feeder. Last week we fed you rice cereal for the first time, it was hilarious because you only got about 10% in your mouth. But now you are eating like a pro. We even tried avocados on Saturday and Sunday and you LOVED them. The best part is watching you open your mouth wide and come towards the spoon each time. Precious.
Moments I want to remember: When I blow your tummy you giggle and then pull my hair. You scrunch your eyes up tight as can be when I come in close to kiss your nose.
Temperament: Very happy in the morning with lots of playing, dissolving into frustration a bit as the day wears on depending on how well our nap cycle has gone
Things I Could Do Without: The high pitched squeal you are working on perfecting. You seem to love to do it in public or when your mouth is right by my ear
Item/Toy We Love The Most: The Bumbo! It's great to have you on the counter at my height when I'm making dinner or trying to feed you, but I know this will be short lived as soon as you get strong enough to topple it over (safety will require it being relegated to the floor)
Item/Toy You Love The Most: Your burp rags. You love to grab them and chew on them.
Things I’m Loving Most Right Now: Hearing you gurgling and talking to yourself when you wake up in the morning. You patiently examine the world around you while I get ready. When I finally peek my head over the edge of your crib and you spy me you give me the biggest most amazing smile I've ever seen in my life. It is by far the best way to start a day ever.
Things You’re Loving Most Right Now: Mom & Baby Yoga! You love watching me do all the yoga poses and are such an angel for the entire 90 minute class. Your favorite part is when we do baby yoga and you get to do different little baby stretches and we sing to you.
Sounds/Words: Lots of "ahhhhhhhhhs!" Sometimes there will be a ba or da thrown in, but no real consistency at this point.
Foods you like: Up until this point it's been the same old thing every day - breast milk! About two weeks ago I weaned you onto formula during the day times because it was getting to hard to pump at work. The transition was fairly easy because Junia is a master baby feeder. Last week we fed you rice cereal for the first time, it was hilarious because you only got about 10% in your mouth. But now you are eating like a pro. We even tried avocados on Saturday and Sunday and you LOVED them. The best part is watching you open your mouth wide and come towards the spoon each time. Precious.
Moments I want to remember: When I blow your tummy you giggle and then pull my hair. You scrunch your eyes up tight as can be when I come in close to kiss your nose.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Working Out Post-Pregnancy
Before becoming a Mom I had gotten very used to waking up at 5:30 every morning and getting in an hour at the gym before work. I was religious about being in kickboxing every Saturday well before class started to get "my spot". I was training for my first half-marathon and proud that I could run 9 miles without stopping.
It took me a number of years to build up to this type of lifestyle. I've always worked out to some extent but it was a much more casual affair. By age 30 I had stepped it up quite a bit and was becoming the most athletic and what I thought was the healthiest I've ever been. Although, not the thinnest. I was in good shape, but there was always a layer of fat that I couldn't get rid of, which I realize now was made up of wine & vodka.
When I look back at some of my pictures just before getting pregnant I felt like I look fairly bloated even though this is when I was doing my longest runs and hardest workouts. But it was also when I was very much enjoying delicious Italian wine.
Within a few months of getting pregnant I noticed that I was actually looking slimmer! I finally realized that I was loosing all the booze weight. What a revelation!
Throughout my pregnancy I continued to workout, but very low impact. Instead of running I used the elliptical machine. I still went to kickboxing, but cut out the kicks and jumps. Working out made me feel good and I think was a big contribution to why my pregnancy went so smoothly. I recovered quickly from surgery and was back to taking long walks within 2 weeks of delivering Em.
However, getting back into my old workout schedule has been challenging. Let's be honest, it's been impossible. I've gone for two runs since she was born and both felt awful and uncomfortable. I've always had a large chest, but breastfeeding made it crazy big and running was just terribly uncomfortable. Plus, my legs & feet hurt with every step. And my breathing - forget it - I could barely go a 1/2 mile without stopping to walk. This sucked because I had really been looking forward to getting back into running. Beyond the physical difficulty I just didn't have the time to commit to being a runner. I think working out and "me" time is important, but in all honesty I just didn't want to spend my time away from the baby running. I wanted to be getting pedicures, taking a nap, enjoying a super hot shower. So running, went by the wayside.
I still do religious go to kickboxing every Saturday and have reclaimed "my spot" at the front of the class, but other than Saturday's you'll never catch me at the gym. Thanks to my Mom's Group I got a TON of walking done in the first 4 months. We met 2-3 times a week and walked 2-3 miles each time. The great thing was I could take Emily with me and didn't have to sacrifice time with her in the sake of fitness.
The funny part is that I'm skinnier now than I've ever been in my life. I haven't gone near a scale in months but my clothes are all too loose for me and I can see the difference in my face & body in pictures.
I know the muscle tone isn't there yet and I'm mainly thinner due to breastfeeding and lack of booze. But it's a good starting point. I'm sure I'll slowly work back in the running, weights etc.
For years and years I've based my self confidence and esteem on my weight and continually felt inadequate. For the first time in my life I could care less how I look because I've realized that what's more important is how I treat my family and those I love. Being a loving mom to Em and wife to Harry are much more important to how I feel about myself than how my pants feel. And maybe that's easier to say because weight isn't a huge issue. However, I can say that once I stopped stressing about what I ate, working out constantly and the numbers on the scale, it all fell into place.
At this point I feel the healthiest that I've ever been. I feel like I have a good balance between what I eat, drink and my physical activity.
Now, if only I could get my ass back. I swear I had one before the baby! (Le sigh - we're never completely happy...)
It took me a number of years to build up to this type of lifestyle. I've always worked out to some extent but it was a much more casual affair. By age 30 I had stepped it up quite a bit and was becoming the most athletic and what I thought was the healthiest I've ever been. Although, not the thinnest. I was in good shape, but there was always a layer of fat that I couldn't get rid of, which I realize now was made up of wine & vodka.
When I look back at some of my pictures just before getting pregnant I felt like I look fairly bloated even though this is when I was doing my longest runs and hardest workouts. But it was also when I was very much enjoying delicious Italian wine.
 |
| Italy - Feb 2010 |
 |
| 8 weeks pregnant - April 2010 |
However, getting back into my old workout schedule has been challenging. Let's be honest, it's been impossible. I've gone for two runs since she was born and both felt awful and uncomfortable. I've always had a large chest, but breastfeeding made it crazy big and running was just terribly uncomfortable. Plus, my legs & feet hurt with every step. And my breathing - forget it - I could barely go a 1/2 mile without stopping to walk. This sucked because I had really been looking forward to getting back into running. Beyond the physical difficulty I just didn't have the time to commit to being a runner. I think working out and "me" time is important, but in all honesty I just didn't want to spend my time away from the baby running. I wanted to be getting pedicures, taking a nap, enjoying a super hot shower. So running, went by the wayside.
I still do religious go to kickboxing every Saturday and have reclaimed "my spot" at the front of the class, but other than Saturday's you'll never catch me at the gym. Thanks to my Mom's Group I got a TON of walking done in the first 4 months. We met 2-3 times a week and walked 2-3 miles each time. The great thing was I could take Emily with me and didn't have to sacrifice time with her in the sake of fitness.
The funny part is that I'm skinnier now than I've ever been in my life. I haven't gone near a scale in months but my clothes are all too loose for me and I can see the difference in my face & body in pictures.
I know the muscle tone isn't there yet and I'm mainly thinner due to breastfeeding and lack of booze. But it's a good starting point. I'm sure I'll slowly work back in the running, weights etc.
For years and years I've based my self confidence and esteem on my weight and continually felt inadequate. For the first time in my life I could care less how I look because I've realized that what's more important is how I treat my family and those I love. Being a loving mom to Em and wife to Harry are much more important to how I feel about myself than how my pants feel. And maybe that's easier to say because weight isn't a huge issue. However, I can say that once I stopped stressing about what I ate, working out constantly and the numbers on the scale, it all fell into place.
At this point I feel the healthiest that I've ever been. I feel like I have a good balance between what I eat, drink and my physical activity.
Now, if only I could get my ass back. I swear I had one before the baby! (Le sigh - we're never completely happy...)
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